Friday, 28 August 2009

Where I say, "YOINK!"...

Nabbed from Ceri

1. He was a
 famous trumpet man from out Chicago way.

2. New boots is what I look forward to most this time of year.

3. "My best friend" is kind of a fluid concept. 

4. I would have hated Marilyn Monroe if I had met her in real life, to be honest with you.

5. Appearances can be, predictably, very deceiving. 

6. The last person I gave a hug to was my brother because he's poorly sick.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to catching up with someone I haven't seen in a while, tomorrow my plans include picking up some post and going to Clevedon for a pub crawl and Sunday, I want to enjoy my hangover and start cleaning out my wardrobe.

Where it's no longer the 'elephant' in the room...

Last night while having a drink with my Dad we started discussing the merits of Twitter. My Dad is a semi-professional gambler and has developed a computer program to help him determine the outcome of races.
Since discovering Twitter he's been singing its praises, particularly concerning its function as an instant communicator to the masses, something he reckons will be very useful when he starts being followed by pundits.

Anyway, all that aside, we moved onto the political side of Twitter such as helping organise protests.

Perhaps I was nervous because of the presence of his girlfriend, or that my Dad seemed slightly on edge, or maybe it was the pint and a half of Fosters I had just downed, but when I went to say,

 "... and it's like with the latest election in Iran..." 

I ended up saying, 

"... and it's like with the latest erection..."

Now, I thought someone would laugh, but no one did... so that 'erection' just hung awkwardly in the air. 

... You're allowed to smirk.

Monday, 17 August 2009

Where I attempt to be a grown up and fail at the first hurdle...

"Hello government! I'm just trying to sort out my taxes and don't seem to have a unique taxpayer's reference number, could you help?" 
"Miss Rabbit, would that be the unique taxpayer's reference number at the top of each letter we send you?"
*looks* "Oh why yes, so it is. Thank you!" 
"Ok, bye Miss Rabbit." 
"mmkay, bye."

Friday, 14 August 2009

Where I look up and wave...

So The Big Chill was, as you'd expect, quite chilled. Not quite as big or as commercial as Glastonbury (I hadn't heard of any of the music acts) but the comedy was top notch. In fact, The Right Reverend Paul Evans and I were staying in a caravan that was parked no less than twenty feet away from the comedy and circus tent. Faaaaantastic.

I'm supposed to be writing right now, doing some things for Buzz and working on 'ideas'. 
When I say 'ideas' I mean; one-act plays, music, monologues, poems, yah da yah da yah da, but I'm experiencing a bit of a mind fuck. I was ok, bimbling along in an emotionally numbed state, not feeling anything strong towards anything in particular. Then BOOM. One name, one phone call, one conversation and it all comes rushing back, rippling violently from the centre of your solar plexus to the tips of your fingers and toes. You can distance yourself from the things that make you get feelings all over the couch, but that doesn't stop those things from seeking you out.

Anyhoo, I have been considering the scale of the universe lately.
I find it useful when giving far too much time to the more trivial pursuits in life.

(you'll need to click the links to get the full demonstration)

I live in a block of flats. This block is fairly big, and I only take up one room. Not even that as I essentially live behind a couch.  
These flats are situated in Eastville, which is an inner city area in the middle of Bristol, which is in the South West of the United Kingdom. See how little of the UK is taken up by Bristol? 
If you consider my significance in the flats, the city, heck, the country, I don't hold much.

The United Kingdom is a wee island next to Europe, across the Atlantic from the United States of America. Notice how small the UK is in comparison to other land masses? Pretty small.
Now don't forget, I'm in there somewhere, but it's easy to focus on other things when you look at me through a magnifying glass from this far away. It's at this point in my consideration of scale that I began to think that my little problems really weren't that important... like worrying about whether or not someone is talking to me... *shrug*

The UK is on Earth, which is a planet that shares space in our solar system with other such planets as Mercury, Venus, Mars, even Pluto. All of these planets, as you'll notice in the picture, are smaller than Earth. 

So, gee, wow, like, Earth is like, big.
I'm on the face of that big hunk of rock, somewhere...  You know, the other day I was upset because I missed the bus... not that important really.
Let me give you a little difference in perspective.

Other planets in our solar system are Neptune, Uranus, Saturn and Jupiter. Yes, Jupiter is the big fuck off planet that is dwarfing our little green and blue one. 
Oh boy... I'm not even a pixel in this image... wondering what people think of me because I'm living at home isn't at the front of my mind anymore.

Oh, hello Sun, giver of heat, the hottest of hot in our solar system, whatcha doing over there? Oh, you're completely pissing all over Jupiter? Ok. 
And, and hey Earth, where are you, anyway? Taking up that itty bitty bit of space over there... I'm 24 and don't have a career... Doesn't matter when you look at it from this angle.

Here's another picture of the Sun. No... it's not the largest rock in this picture, it's actually the smallest. The largest rock is Arcturus, a big ass star in a constellation called The Plough. You might notice that the text in the picture points out that Jupiter is about one pixel in size and the Earth is invisible. If the Earth is invisible at this scale then me, you, everyone we know and all of our ambitions and problems mean absolutely zilch.

Now, this could be a depressing notion.

... Or it could be a very liberating one. 

I'm choosing to opt for the latter.