"Can I have a return from Stapleton Road to Weston Super Mare, please?"
"Oh, sorry it was £5.50 yesterday."
"That's after nine o clock. It's still before nine right now."
I need to point out that at the time of this conversation, it was 8.57am.
I was sat in the first carriage of the train which is where the conductor starts his journey from one end of the train to the other, selling and checking tickets.
"So if I was sat further down the train, this ticket would be cheaper?"
"Will the people you get to in three minutes have a cheaper fare?"
"Do you mind if I move to another carriage?"
Yes, it's a bit passive aggressive. Yes, I was being an irritating customer that this conductor could have probably done without at nine in the morning, but COME ON!
How ridiculous are the train fares in this country? For starters, no two conductors follow the same rules. If I wear some mascara, smile, and speak in a soft voice, I usually get charged the cheapest fare even if I don't show my young person's rail card! If I'm having an off day, full price. Fucking ridiculous!
And besides, how much of a cunt do you need to be to charge full price on one end of the train and off peak rates on the other end just because there are three minutes in it?